Monday, March 14, 2005

Spider-Girl Contest, Part Two

Welcome to part two of our four-part rundown of entries for the Spider-Girl contest. (See part one.)

For this batch we have entries of a humorous bent. At least, I assumed that they were meant to be humorous, as they made me chuckle!

Dave H. nominated Angelina Jolie. Dave writes:
This sexy siren of the silver screen is world-famous for her luscious lips. While many a casting agent (and studio executive) would be wary to cast her in a role covering those beauties, they need not fear. Ms. Jolie's lips can actually appear through the mask! Yes ladies & gentlemen, Spider-Girl not only can walk on walls via her hands & feet, but with her lips as well! Just ask Brad Pitt, the suction on those puppies is strong!

Of course, Ms. Jolie is also quite capable of any physical feats that may be called upon Spidey's little girl. Twirl through the air, jumping from wall to wall, playing with dangerous knives, she can do it all folks! She can even use her spidey-sense to detect when Billy Bob Thorton shows up! Never be surprised again by the king of white trash of Hollywood!

So what about chemistry with a possible love interest? Glad you asked, because Ms. Jolie has burned up movie and television screens across the world with such heartthrobs as the aforementioned Brad Pitt, Edward Burns, Antonio Banderas, Nicholas Cage, Jude Law, and even her own brother! Fans will melt at the very sight of her.

Next up is George, with a rather strange entry:

I'd say if there was a show or movie to be made, make it a cartoon and have the crazy women that throws the cats at people from The Simpsons play the lead. I'd be comedic and most certainly interesting to see what antics and hyginks ensue.

I must admit that even though I sometimes watch and enjoy The Simpsons, I have no idea which character George is refering to...

Perhaps equally odd, but in a completely different way, is Stephen's choice: Tobey Maguire. Stephen writes:
Who should play May Parker? The answer could not be more obvious: Tobey Maguire. Why Tobey? For many reasons:
  • Star appeal would bring in many fans otherwise unlikely to attend a Spider-Girl movie

  • It worked for "Spider-Man", and Hollywood never looses the chance to repeat a winning formula

  • Cross-dressing nature of the role would give Tobey a chance to expand his acting horizons

  • Close resemblance to actor who played Peter Parker who support notion that May Parker was Peter's daughter, thus adding an important dash of verisimilitude

  • Tobey already has a costume, thus saving on the sure-to-be-costly budget

  • Unusual yet (let's face it) perfect casting choice would bring publicity and hence more movie-goers

  • Something about Tobey Maguire just says "wall-crawler"

Thanks for the grins guys! Come back in a couple of hours or so for part three, where we'll reveal our next batch of nominees.

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